Changing the Toilet Paper Roll (Beth B)

I have some pet peeves; finding the empty milk carton in the fridge or sitting down to the toilet paper roll with only the last single sheet still attached. If any of you live with others, you know what I'm talking about! Normally when these things happen, I say some unkind things under my breath and then deal with the inconvenience. In a strange way, I can feel validated as "the only one who does anything around here". I can even relate these tales to my female friends and then we can all commiserate about our awesomeness. Without us, "nothing would ever get done!"
The problem (I've discovered) with this mindset is that it is a complete and dangerous falsehood. No one wants to admit it, but our loved ones would survive without us. I'm not saying that they wouldn't miss us nor that their lives would be different if we weren't there. They would, however, be able to survive.  Instead our griping has a different effect; we are degrading our families while boosting our egos. If we are honest, there are probably a list of things that "wouldn't get done" if our spouses didn't do them. In my family, that would be reconciling the checkbook. If I stop and think about it, missing receipts are as annoying to Ken as the empty toilet paper roll is to me.
So I am choosing to look at inconveniences, like the empty milk carton, with a joy, knowing that someone still needs me.

vacationing. (Beth B)

We just got back from a quick trip out east. We got to hang out with family, eat a lot of good things and see many interesting sites. These things are great but the best was spending time just relaxing! I find that I don't relax very often. I am always busy "accomplishing" some task. The funny thing is that the busier I am, the less I get done. Taking some downtime to rejuvenate my body and soul makes me more productive. Maybe it's just the process of decluttering my mind or getting enough sleep, but whatever it is, vacations are necessary for me. So whether it is a "Stay-cation" or a camping trip or a global vacation, go and enjoy! You deserve a rest! Don't forget to send pictures! We love to see the smiling faces!

. . .Stop Looking for Offense (Beth Burrow)

Before y'all tell me that it is poor English to use a double negative, just know, I couldn't think of a better way to put it. So I ask for your grace:)

Now back to the topic at hand: Looking for offense. Have you ever unintentionally offended someone? I'm not talking about saying something unkind and getting caught!!! Instead, have you tried to help someone or even compliment them and they end up being offended? Normally, I run to apologize and explain myself. I gush over them. (Probably because I have a serious gushing problem!) Eventually it is all resolved and everything is back to normal.

Well, I think I need to stop it. I apologize way too much. If I forgot to tell you that I like your haircut, it doesn't mean a thing!! I may like it, I may dislike it, or most likely, I didn't even notice it. If that offends you, I feel sorry for you but I am not sorry. Too often, we are just waiting for a way to be "wronged" or "dissed" or "slandered", because we get a lot of attention for being a victim. We can run and tell everyone about it and they will either: Tell us how awesome we are or tell us how horrible that person is, for treating you poorly. Either outcome stokes our ego but what is it really costing your soul? I can tell you. . . it is an expensive price to pay for a meaningless rush. If you are really being mistreated, change your circumstances. If, however, you are looking for things to be mad about, stop it. Trying giving out grace, I know you will find that it will be returned to you abundantly!

Leaving Junior High (Beth B)

Do you remember junior high? I do. (And I praise the Lord that I don't have any junior high pictures that Beth P can get her hands on and put on this post!!)  My experience wasn't as bad as some. I have heard complete horror stories from some "survivors" of junior high. Even though my experience wasn't that rough, I still would never want to go back to those days. In fact, I have never met a person who would like to return. It was a time of overwhelming peer pressure. We wanted to act in such a way that we would get noticed and be invisible at the same time. Fashion, phrases, and possessions became measures of popularity. Relationships determined your entire worth. Cool girls had boyfriends (meaning you sat next to a guy at lunch or you passed them those silly notes!). The whole culture in junior high was based on peer approval. No wonder, we never want to return. The criteria for "Coolness" is ever-changing and never satisfied. It is emotionally exhausting.

So, I ask you: what is the difference between junior high and our fear of what others will think of us? I know that sounds harsh but I see so many of us almost crippled with concern over other people's opinions. We catch ourselves apologizing for acting in ways that may make people think we are not nice enough or generous enough, etc. etc.etc. We will never ever make everyone like us. Their standards are too demanding and not worth the personal sacrifices. Instead of chasing after popular approval, why don't we chase after the things that please God? His yoke is easy and He will never reject you. Pursuing God's way will probably cost you the "Cool" status but it will bring you so much more joy. It's time that we all graduated from junior high.

Counting Your Blessings ( Beth B)

Ken surprised me by suggesting we spend our Memorial Day visiting my Grandma Phyllis! (That man is such a keeper!) It has been a little over a month since my grandfather died. My grandparents would have been married 71 years this June. Grandma Phyllis got married two weeks after graduating from high school. So she is struggling to deal with a reality that she has never experienced before, i.e. loneliness. Although she is surrounded by people, she really feels the absence of her beloved husband. I expected our visit to be a time where I could bring Grandma comfort. As always, though, it was my Grandma Phyllis that brought me joy.

She continuously lists off her blessings. Not just to herself, but she readily shares the good things in her life with whomever will listen. As family, we are introduced to everyone in the retirement home, as she excitedly brags on us. Listening to her recall 89 years of blessings, you'd think that my Grandma Phyllis had a perfect life. Far from it, some of the things she endured would make grown men cry. My Grandmother however, refuses to complain. She really has no time for complainers (or tobacco or war). In fact she has given up watching the news, because she "can't understand how people could treat each other so horribly".

When my brother-in-law met my Grandma, he said, "The world sure would be better if there were more like Phyllis in it." He couldn't be more correct. I believe it is because she chooses the positive every time. Always quick to compliment and encourage, Grandma makes everyone feel good. It is this attitude that is lacking in our world. We are commanded to give thanks in everything. By her positivism, this is what Grandma has chosen to do and we all could learn from that example.

Quitting (Beth B)

Is it me or is May insanely busy? I truly believe that at some point during this month, I will bump into myself. It feels like we are running in circles. Usually this stresses me out but not this year. I am quitting. I quit the things in my life that were not worth the stress. And so for the first time, this running around is really quite enjoyable.
I am constantly running into people who tell me that they wish they could quit. I really can't tell them anything but "Well, do it then." Take a cold hard look at your finances, your lifestyle and your schedule. See what things you could reasonably give up and then, if possible, quit.
I'm not just talking about jobs here either. Quit teaching Sunday School if it is a spiritual and emotional drain. Quit planting a garden, going to exercise class, unhealthy relationships, pleasing everyone, etc. etc. Some of these things can be great, but if you are doing things out of a fake obligation, then stop doing them.
Perhaps, the hardest thing to accept, is that someone else might take over for you and do a much better job. Instead of being threatened by that, you need to realize this fact meant that you were indeed supposed to quit.
The plus side is that you are then freed to give fully to the things and people that matter the most to you! It is an indescribable freedom. 

Being Awed (Beth B)

Did you know that there are 100 billion neurons in our brains? Or that there are between 1 sextillion (21 zeros) and 1 septillion (24 zeros) stars. Crazier than that is the number of atoms in a grain of sand, i.e. approximately 2.2 x 10¹⁹ atoms - 22,000,000,000,000,000,000!   Our heart beats an average of 35 million times per year. These are numbers that we can not really fathom. From massive areas to the smallest materials, the universe is awesome.

I've been subbing in a lot of elementary classrooms lately. The thing that energizes me about young kids is that they are completely amazed by things in this world. Not only do their jaws drop, but they can't wait to tell everyone about the things that they just witnessed or learned. It is contagious. The things that happen around us every day are straight up miraculous.

Lately, I've heard several people bemoan the fact that they haven't seen a miracle. On the contrary, I think everyday we see so many miracles, that we take them for granted. Given, if we stopped in wonderment at everything, we would never get anything else done. But what ever happened to our sense of awe? Perhaps stopping to be astonished by God's handiwork, is what Christ meant when he told us to have faith like a child? If we stop to contemplate the everyday miracles, we can't help but be reminded of how incredible our God really is!

Forming Your Legacy (Beth B)

His name was Albert. He was brimming with love for his wife, even after 71 years together. Each spring, he would clear the forest in front of their home so that Phyllis, his wife, could see the river from her front yard. Every year, Albert would watch his beloved Twins, complain that they were "no good" and yet he never missed an inning. Even at 92, he went deer hunting. Since there's no point to living, if you have to miss a hunting season. His favorite saying to his children was "well, you aren't the best but you are better than the rest." Secretly, they knew that he burst with pride over his children, but he never wanted them to get a big head. He and his wife always had a huge garden and plenty of fish and meat on hand because, "You never know when someone might need a little extra hand".
Albert was also set in his ways. Men should have good haircuts and be clean-shaven, otherwise they are just being lazy. Meat should never be tough. Foods should never look as though "Its already been eaten once". Men take care of their families, no matter what. You do what is right, regardless of what others say about you. And you serve your community. Albert took care of the sick and the aged, calling on them daily. He advocated for conservation practices, although he steadfastly refused to talk politics with anyone. He would cuss at the dog and feed it table scraps. Often he would secretly slip money into the hands of his grand kids. Lastly, Albert never complained about things that were outside of his control. He was a content man.
Albert is my grandfather. He passed away last week. He took part of my heart with him to heaven but he left me with so much more. My grandfather's legacy amazes me. He and my grandmother always stressed family. You love, support and accept the kin that God gave you. To them parenting meant that you accept your children and train them to choose what is right. Never settle for being your child's friend when you can be their parent. As I sat at his funeral, I witnessed Albert's beautiful legacy. We are a rag tag group of very different people. Yet, we are there through thick and thin for one another. This is a result that I am certain made Albert smile.
It has also caused me to ponder, what sort of legacy will I leave? What will my loved ones say about me in my eulogy? As I pause to remember my grandfather, I think it would be fitting to make sure that I am caring on his legacy. It is a worthy one.

Saying Yes (Beth B)

No, I have not completely lost my mind. (Yet, at least!) Last time, I encouraged you to say no and today I am encouraging you to say yes?! I believe that you have to learn to say no, before you can really say yes. The purpose of saying no is to prioritize your life. Hopefully this act will help you carefully choose where and when you should volunteer. And you should volunteer, the world needs you.
It seems like Americans are in a bizarre competition to see who can be the busiest. We cram our lives full of activities and exhaust ourselves. We should, to quote Bob Newhart, "Just stop it." However, I have also noticed that we are also not as busy as we think! The average American watches 34 hours of television per week. That is almost a full time job. If we took one hour of that 136 hours of television viewing per month and volunteered, can you imagine what we could get accomplished?
Currently only 26% of Americans volunteer. If we could even bump that up to 50 percent, that would be millions of increased hours. There are thousands of volunteer opportunities too! Could you give blood, rock babies, give someone a ride, or do a craft with an elderly person? Maybe you would be willing to walk dogs or bake some cookies? What an amazing life lesson for your kids, if your family went and pulled weeds at the community garden, served at a community wide free meal or sorted donations at the food bank! I guarantee that it is a much more rewarding experience than watching a bunch of fake reality television shows! So go and celebrate National Volunteer month by finding a way to give meaningfully of yourself.

Saying No (Beth B)

Have you ever been in charge of some big project? One where you had to get volunteer help and a lot of people were counting on you? Well I have and I learned many great life lessons from the experiences. Far and above the most important thing that I learned, was the importance of saying no.  Most of you have heard about this from the volunteers' perspective. It is very true that you need to put up boundaries to protect your emotional and spiritual health (as well as your family's). If you are saying yes just to please people, you will fail at the task. It is never a good idea, and you will end up disappointing more people than you are able to please.
Today, though, I want to speak to you from the organizer's perspective. There is nothing worse than having someone say yes and then fail to follow through. I have so much more respect for the person who honestly admits that they do not have the time, effort or motivation to assist in the project. There is no shame in that honesty. On the flip side, there are those who say yes and then leave people with a mess to clean up. Either the volunteer was stretched too thin, uncommitted or ill-equipped and as a result the work doesn't get done. This leaves the organizer scrambling and, quite frankly. frustrated. It is so much better to be able to find someone up for the task way before the event, than playing catch up days or hours before deadlines.
So next time you are faced with a volunteer opportunity, pause and consider your answer carefully. Remember to let your yes, be yes, and your no, be no. Everyone will be appreciative of your truthfulness.

Finding Your Haiti (Beth B)

Beth's most recent blog post inspired me. I have been fortunate enough to be able to travel to Haiti many times. I don't say this to bring me any glory, because, honestly, I go to feed my own soul. When I travel to Haiti I see sights that burn into my memory. Visions of living conditions and suffering that no human being should ever have to endure. This alone reminds me to be forever grateful for all the luxuries I have in my own life. It also helps to rid me of petty jealousies over the things that my neighbors own.
Although these are true blessings, it isn't the most important thing that I receive from Haiti. What I get from my visits is a clear and resounding message that God is still and always has been in control. I watch Haitians worshiping God with wild abandonment despite their surroundings. I am assured of  the hope of the future when I see the bright smiles of the children. I hear and witness miraculous stories. I am welcomed unconditionally by the locals. All of this, to me, is a foretaste of heaven and it is in a place most would consider hell on earth! But isn't that the way God has always worked!
Traveling to Haiti won't have the same effect on everyone. That isn't the intent of this post. I want to encourage you to find your own Haiti. Where is the place that reminds you of God's presence and love for His children? Run to it as often as you can. Fill your soul and remind your heart of your first love. If you haven't found  that spot yet, stop and ask God to be able to see. You will be surprised how many "Haitis" there are!
I have linked a video that does an excellent job in explaining why I go to Haiti. I hope you enjoy. The picture on this page is our dear Mackenson today!
Mackenson's Story

Laughing at Life (Beth B)

These made me laugh out loud! Maybe we all need to remember that a lot of the things that really get us upset aren't really that important (or are even kind of ridiculous)! We aren't in control and frankly that is wonderful! So let some things go so that you have room for the good things in life! Go ahead and get your laugh on!

Being a Friend (Beth B)

I have an amazing daughter. And I have enjoyed an honest and loving relationship with her. One of the things that she did for me was she would let me know if I had a big old chin hair! Yes I said it, a chin hair. (Any of you over forty know exactly what I'm talking about.)

Well my daughter now lives a few hours away from me. So her ability to keep me out of embarrassing situations is severely limited. So I need to rely on my friends to tell me these potentially embarrassing awkward truths. There are very few people who are comfortable doing that. But I am so grateful for the friends that care enough about me to risk telling me hard truths.

We don't have to go around "correcting" people but if they have things in their lives that could really hurt them and their families, shouldn't we tell them? I think we get so needlessly worried that they will stop liking us or get angry with us that we just hope someone else will let them know that something is wrong. The sad thing is that if we all act that way no one will ever tell them the truth. So don't stop being that friend that will let their friends know that they have something stuck in their teeth or that their choices may be negatively affecting them. Ultimately they will be thankful that you cared.

Seeing (Beth B)

Facebook is a colossal time suck for me. I can start looking at everyone's updates and before I know it a half hour has passed. Quite honestly most of what I see there is trivial. But this morning I ran across this link that a friend had shared. It reminded me that I talk way too much and notice way too little. So instead of writing today I will share these photos with you. Warning you will see some heart wrenching pictures of both joy and grieve so have a box of Kleenex with you. And take the time to really see what is important in life.

Click here! 

Don't Stop Showing Respect (Beth B)

This saying made me giggle because it is too true. I am as guilty as the next woman of making fun of our men's shortcomings. Sometimes we joke out of frustration and sometimes it's just out of habit. However, neither reason is right. If my husband and his friends said some of these same jokes, we would be completely offended. As a mother of a son, I have heard male-bashing and I've thought that I would never want a daughter-in-law to say things like that about my son. So why do we allow it? Is it really our desire to always be right? And if so, I ask you is that worth sacrificing the dignity of our men? 

So today, I give you an assignment: Write down ten things about your husband/boyfriend/son that you really respect and/or admire. Give it to them in a way that they can read it privately. Then watch the results. If you discover something share it with us here. (Warning, please DO NOT share personal potentially embarrassing stories. Instead we are only looking for anecdotal evidence that we need to show more respect.)

An intro to Beth B!

Beth P writing:

HERE WE GO Y'ALL! Time to get this bloggy started!

First I know a lot of you either know me or know Beth B and then some of you know both of us! So I want to tell all specifically my peeps about my friend Beth B!


1. She is a tiny person with a VERY big heart.
2. She is super strong, she hiked Peruvian mountains like a boss last summer.

3. She is crazy funny.
4. She is the mathematical Beth, I AM NOT.
5. She is a hugger. Not much on tree hugging, but pretty much LOVES hugging munchkins.
6. She doesn't put ANY dressing on her salads.
7. She will jump in the car with anyone headed to Chick-Fil-A.
8. She and I apparently sound the same on the phone so be careful, very very careful calling one of us.
9. She loves God and David Crowder. Oh and her husband of course.
10. She has become my prayer partner. We have prayed through some STUFF y'all!

You are gonna love her!

No post to the blog will go without the review and approval of the "other Beth".  And our husbands will also be in on the editing at times.  We long to encourage and not to offend.  This journey is gonna be so fun together! Hope y'all enjoy it with us!