..... encouraging our little girls. (Beth P)

I think we all can agree this is a difficult culture for our little girls to grow up in and feel secure about how they look on the outside. And I know you cannot really separate that from who they are on the inside, but I don't think little girls understand that until they are older.
I want to tell you about how you can help them in a way that we often forget. We can start TELLING the little girls in our lives what we think about how they look.  I am not saying to gush over how pretty they are to the point that they think it is all that is valuable about them.  BUT I have to say, that we don't realize the impact our words as adult women can have on a little girl dealing with insecurity.
I still remember the exact moment and place that a woman I looked up to told me I was beautiful.  I was actually shocked. I was a chunky little sixth grade girl. She was my teacher. She cupped my cubby cheeks in her hands and said with all her heart, "you're beautiful!" It didn't matter that she was a very large woman, she had a heart to match her size and she was beautiful to me.

I did not feel pretty.  I didn't know I was beautiful.  I didn't hate myself,  I just didn't know I could be seen as beautiful.  (Yes, I knew that my mother saw me that way but it is different when it's your moma!)

Oprah tells a similar story of the moment someone, a teacher, I think, told her she was "pretty as a speckled pup".  It was a big moment in her young life. 

YOU can create a special moment in the life of a little girl who just doesn't know that she can be beautiful.  YOU can even go further and tell her that it comes from the inside out. You can cup her chubby cheeks and tell her that she is very very special and why.  She may skip away seemingly un-phased.  But know that she might remember that moment, the moment she found out she could be beautiful.  

Don't Stop Showing Respect (Beth B)

This saying made me giggle because it is too true. I am as guilty as the next woman of making fun of our men's shortcomings. Sometimes we joke out of frustration and sometimes it's just out of habit. However, neither reason is right. If my husband and his friends said some of these same jokes, we would be completely offended. As a mother of a son, I have heard male-bashing and I've thought that I would never want a daughter-in-law to say things like that about my son. So why do we allow it? Is it really our desire to always be right? And if so, I ask you is that worth sacrificing the dignity of our men? 

So today, I give you an assignment: Write down ten things about your husband/boyfriend/son that you really respect and/or admire. Give it to them in a way that they can read it privately. Then watch the results. If you discover something share it with us here. (Warning, please DO NOT share personal potentially embarrassing stories. Instead we are only looking for anecdotal evidence that we need to show more respect.)

.... going to church. (Beth P)

I know, I know, church can be a downer sometimes. It is not even a huge part of our culture anymore. We are a culture that wants to be entertained and just relax. PLUS, the church is full of people. *smile* These people are far from perfect.  People are going to disappoint you. Some sermons are gonna feel like eternity.

I have had a lifetime in church. My daddy was the preacher!

This is me (wearing yellow), my BFF, Susan (the little blondie), and two special boys (Tim and Stephen) like brothers to me, playing in the church nursery. (Sorry there was a tear in the photo that goes down my face, photoshop can only fix it so much. We are probably ages 3 and 2.)

I have been in church almost every Sunday of my 42 year life. And I cannot count the times I felt bored or I have been tempted to just stay home and not get out of bed. But God has repeatedly changed my life in beautiful ways through listening to His whispers to me in worship services in church.

And I am here to encourage you.  *smile*

Have you ever wondered if you are missing something? Why do some enjoy church and others don't?

Do you feel like you don't or won't fit in?

I promise this will be fun! And SHORT. ;)

Here are some thoughts:

1. Don't walk in thinking of yourself as Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, or whatever. Think of yourself as a seeker of truth. The truth is found in God's Word. Seek to know what it says. Wearing a label or "Christian" t-shirt won't get you into heaven.  Truth.  Seek it. Find it.

2. Fellowship. When it comes to the people AT church, try to see them as God sees them.  (If you feel led to pray for this, watch out. It can change your life. You might even start hugging people at church.) You might even find some amazing friendships! You might find someone you can bless and be blessed in return. Isn't that something you long for in life?

3.  Why is it that sometimes the same people hear the same message and one person goes away challenged and or changed, another gets relatively nothing from the message.  Why? Is it just that the message was geared toward their needs? Maybe.  But it might also be that their hearts were open, they were seeking, they were listening, and were willing to change.

4. Discipline. We need to take on our spiritual life with some good old self-discipline.  I know that sounds grueling. But it is rewarding beyond your imagination! God will move in and inspire!

5. Food. Your sole longs for spiritual food.  And you will not find it at every church. Look for one where you and your family are fed. Look for one where you are challenged and able to grow.

Okay, now, was that so bad?

If this was too short..... here is a post titled "5 Ways To Be Unsatisfied with Your Church"-- great read: CLICK HERE.

Don't Stop Fighting For Your Marriage (Beth B)

As I write this, Ken is cooking Captain Crunch-coated french toast! I have a feeling it may be totally delicious. (Hopefully BP can find a recipe to include with this post!) I am lucky enough to be married to a man who cooks and cleans. He also does our books, repairs things around the house, provides most of our income and did a marvelous job raising our children. Because of this I have the utmost respect and appreciation for him but none of these wonderful things are the reason I love him. I love him, not the things he does.
I married a kind, loving, compassionate, wise, honest and funny man. And the best thing is that he gets me. We have a great time together. Having been married for so long, we have plenty of "inside jokes". It also means that he knows what I am feeling without having to explain it to him! In other words he is just "a keeper"!
Now that you are all vomiting from the sugary sweetness, I want to also confess that we DO NOT have the "perfect" marriage. There is no such thing. We have just chosen to prioritize our relationship. I can not tell you how that will look in your marriage. There are hundreds of thousands of blogs and articles from wiser people that can give you concrete advice. But I can offer this piece of advice from Ken: He told me that if he had to write a marriage book it would be a very short one. In fact all it would say is: Never, ever, ever give up because it is so worth it!

Maybe go make french toast together! CLICK HERE FOR THE RECIPE

......pursuing love. (Beth P)

Our human hearts ever long for love.  

To love and to be loved. 

Completely.  

Unconditionally.  

We want someone to know us deeply and love us anyway.  

We want to know we are special to someone.

Pursue love.  Don't quit. Don't become jaded or discouraged or lost.

Someone is waiting for you to love them and to love you back. 

(Now I am gonna turn this around a little.)

Jesus Christ is waiting for you too. 

Waiting to give you life, and love, and a deep intimacy with God beyond your wildest dreams.

I switched it on you, didn't I? 

Human love vs God's love. The thing is, He designed it this way.

The way we long to love and be loved by another person here on earth is a picture for us of the love we can have with Jesus Christ.  It is on purpose that He created us to long for human love and intimacy.  He wants us to learn to love and pursue a relationship and intimacy both with a spouse and with a Savior.

Then as we grow in that relationship with our spouse we can see parallels to how we can grow in our relationship with God.  Deeper and deeper and find completeness in Him, on a spiritual level.

No spouse, no problem.  You can still grow and learn from the love you find in friendships and mirror that with your Savior.

He has created over and over pictures of relationships all around us.  There is a trust and vulnerability I have with my best friends that teaches me how to trust and be vulnerable with God.

Just don't get so caught up or dependent on the human relationships that you fail to develop the spiritual relationship HE DESIGNED for you to have with Him from the moment you were conceived.

He has been pursuing you.  Have you noticed?  Have you responded?

He loves you.  Completely. Unconditionally.  Pursue Him. And don't stop.

.....stopping. (Beth P)

Believe it or not, there are actually quiet moments a lot at our house.  Seriously! I am not lying.  Sure, it may mean Russ has headphones in, Jedd is texting and Daniel is napping, but those activities do occur frequently at our house, AT the same time which equals quiet.  

While I do not like LOUD, and especially not loud and annoying (which happens a lot here too) I sometimes struggle with quiet.  I like a TV or radio on in the background.  I also struggle with slowing down. (I even eat fast. Moma was always trying to get me to slow down at supper.  It just wasn't lady-like to eat so fast.)  :) 

I the past year or so, I have been learning to embrace the quiet, the slow, and stillness. I am  stopping, turning off the TV(or at least hitting the mute button. Don't judge me) and being still. I stop and take a deep breath. Now what? (I hate to be bored. And I always feel like I should be doing something "productive".) 

Guess what? God would like a piece of that quiet with us. HE longs for it.

Have you ever read a verse for the Bible and then just sat back and thought about it, then suddenly you feel the Holy Spirit drawing you in? You read it again and it is one of those light-bulb moments? To be honest I can't say that I always give Him the time to even work like that. I don't often  STOP and just listen. Even when it is a time I have dedicated to a "moment with the Lord", I find I am often doing ALL the talking. 

Correy Russell, in the book Ancient Paths refers to it as "letting God fill our souls as well as our minds." He referred to the verse from the Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6

I wanna be filled. I want ALL He has to give. I NEED all He has to give. So I stop.  I take a deep breath and just try to listen. And I smile.  And be filled.

Just for a moment.  Be still.

Don't Stop Enjoying the Sweet Things in Life (Beth B)

Is there anything in this world more adorable than a baby laughing? Something about it just makes you do a full body smile. Well, last week I got to volunteer at Pizza Ranch. While I was there, a little nine month old boy got his first taste of ice cream! His face after the first bite expressed shocked ecstasy! After the first experience the rest of the dish provoked laughter, squeals, smiles and coos. He was in heaven. And his joy was completely contagious.
It wasn't until I got to participate in this celebration of deliciousness that I noticed that I had been dragging emotionally. Maybe it's all this cold weather that has me feeling blah or maybe it's just that I have forgotten about all the wonderful things around me. But taking the time to uninhibitedly  appreciate the little things, as children do, works wonders for my soul. So today I want to invite you to go be reckless in your appreciation for the joys in our lives. Eat that ice cream, dance to your favorite song, make a snow angel, snuggle with a loved one, call a friend and laugh until your sides hurt! Whatever you want to do, just do it with gusto!!!! My blog post is really short because I want you to just go and get that full body smile on! Don't worry what others will think or about the calories or even about the things that you need to get done! Just let yourself go and enjoy!

For some good baby laughs CLICK HERE!!! 

...laughing in love!!!

I had a list of what I wanted in a husband.  It changed from time to time but one thing that was always on it... "funny".  I prayed over that list for years. I was not about to take any chances. ;)

Little did I know even after I met that man, 20 years and one month ago, that I would spend the next 20 years laughing with him.  What  a gift my goofy husband is!

Y'all  know he's goofy:

I first met him on a blind date in Kansas City.  I was in my last year of college, and he was living and working in Cedar Falls, Iowa.  Yep, we met and dated long distance (5 1/2 hrs apart). But soon we both had no doubts we wanted to get married. 

Eleven months after we met, we married.  

I am still in love with him. He is still goofy.  He makes me laugh everyday. He is amazing. 

I am laughing in love. 

Don't Stop Embracing Limits Part 2

Maybe it's just the mom in me, but have any of you noticed, how many of the sports in the Winter Olympics could lead to the participant's death? I mean, seriously, how does one learn to ski jump or ski so fast that you are airborne for 100 meters? While it makes for entertaining viewing, I can't imagine being thrilled if my kids wanted to take up halfpipe snowboarding! I thought watching them play football was bad enough for my nerves but I can't imagine watching them wipeout so hard that they crack their helmet.

And the tricks just keep getting harder and more dangerous. We appear to have a need to constantly push the limits of what has been done before. And this isn't just happening in sports. For instance, when I was young my parents forbid me from watching Hawaii 5-O. They thought that the content and images were not appropriate for young eyes. Today they air reruns of the show in the afternoon and it is rated appropriate for all viewers! The young stars today compete to see who can be more shocking. The result is that in our pursuit for the newest thing, limits have become synonymous with archaism and closed mindedness. 

Yet any teacher will tell you that kids thrive within structured limits. Why? Because they can rest. There isn't the opportunity to meet every momentary desire. So they aren't faced with the consequences of these poor choices. Thus they don't have to strive and fight and they can achieve social and academic success. Adults are the same way. I have wasted so much money on whimsical purchases that I really didn't want. Because of this, I have had to work harder. If I had accepted the financial limits of my life we could have retired young. If we say no to ourselves then we have new opportunities and choices opened up to us. I will go into this in more detail in part three of this series. Until then I want to leave you with a thought-provoking quote from Wendell Berry about his discovery of the joy of limits.

“We had entered an era of limitlessness, or the illusion thereof, and this in itself is a sort of wonder. My grandfather lived a life of limits, both suffered and strictly observed, in a world of limits. I learned much of that world from him and others, and then I changed; I entered the world of labor-saving machines and of limitless cheap fossil fuel. It would take me years of reading, thought, and experience to learn again that in this world limits are not only inescapable but indispensable.” 
― Wendell Berry, Bringing it to the Table: Writings on Farming and Food

...... listening.

When I say listening, I mean listening like you did when your moma said, "Now listen here! You had better get to your room and start that homework or you and I are gonna have a problem." Your moma wasn't asking to be heard.  She was asking you to DO SOMETHING!!!
The other day I sat down with a tiny book and read it in one sitting.  One hundred and twenty four pages, about 2 or three hours and it was done. I was cold, so I didn't want to get up anyway.  But it was also a really great little book, and a very easy read.
It is called, Just Do Something, by Kevin DeYoung. The full title, "Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will or How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Impressions, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, Etc."

Click HERE to get it on amazon

I think you can guess where he is going with the title.  He talks about how we flounder searching for God's will when sometimes we need to JUST DO SOMETHING! God's ready to lead and guide us wherever we go, whatever we do, and however we choose to get there. Of course, we need to be wise and follow the directives He gives in his Word, but like I said in a previous post, we need to just JUMP!
 This author points out that we can get so caught up in trying to figure out our idea of God's will, that we DO NOTHING! We think there is this perfect "will" out there that is mysterious and we have to be crazy careful to figure it out or...... or....what....?  We feel the WRATH?  Now that is maybe how it felt when your moma told you to listen or else! But it is not always how God is! He gives us guidelines and then sets us free to make choices! WE ARE FREE IN CHRIST! Free to make choices, free to even mess up! He can even work through our mistakes.
In the book the author uses the example of living in place "A" or place "B".  We have to know that God can lead us to one or the other, but He can also work and use us in EITHER sometimes and we may have to just make a choice and trust Him to work.
I could go on and on with examples but I think you probably know how to apply this! JUST DO SOMETHING! Our gracious God is okay with us making mistakes too! I am so often afraid of taking risks! BUT I am also afraid of being afraid! He is helping me to step out there.... and ......do something.

What are you going to do?

Don't Stop Embracing Limits- Part 1

Back when it was entertaining, we used to watch American Idol. The rest of my family enjoyed the episodes featuring the auditions. There was always a parade of poor performances by people, who honestly had limited talent at the best. The rejected contestants would storm out of the audition room in tears with cuss words flying. Most of them blamed the judges for not recognizing real talent and vowed to prove them wrong. Although it made for good television, I disliked watching this deliberate public humiliation and the pain of people realizing their dreams are not going to be realized.

I have always wondered why these contestants didn't have someone in their lives who loved them enough to stop them from this embarrassment. Unfortunately telling people the truth is disdained in our society when actually it is often the kindest option. As parents and teachers, we have often told our children that they can achieve all of their dreams through effort and determination. Our intent is good. We want our kids to pursue success and try their best in all that they do. But too often the message is that the sky is the limit. On the surface that sounds great, however the real message is a complete lie.

Look at it this way, I am never ever going to play on the defensive line for the Minnesota Vikings! No matter how much effort or desire that I have, it is not going to happen. You could say the same thing about my chances of being a professional singer, dancer, ice skater, saleswoman etc. The list could go on and on. Reality dictates that there are things that I will never be able to do well. Instead of viewing this as a failure or an injustice, I have chosen to view this as liberating. Just because I want something, I am not entitled to it. Some people have amazing talents that I will never have and vice versa. Instead of striving to become someone we are not, accepting our natural limits allows us to thrive as the people we were created to be. It is much easier to maximize the use of our God given talents and abilities instead of struggling to attain an unreasonable goal.  Therefore operating within boundaries produces success and hence we are free from unrealistic and exhausting expectations.  And this success is so much better than pipe dreams.

....wearing fuzzy socks.

BETH P writing:

It's negative 25 {wind-chill} outside as I write this post. I am wearing my warmest coziest attire possible for today.  My thickest fuzziest socks are on inside my tall sweater boots; as well, I am wearing my thick Under Armor sweat pants and sweatshirt (over Cuddl Duds, of course). AND, if you know me, there is also a fuzzy scarf double wrapped around my neck. Then last but not least, there is a space heater set to "HIGH" about 12 inches from my chair.  I. AM. COZY.

I think this level of cozy might be what God means when He says in John 15:9b "Abide in my love".  

I am reading a book called, "Christ in the Chaos" by Kimm Crandall.  This verse from John is the the verse God brought to mind for the author when chaos was surrounding her heart and all the negative self-labeling thoughts were overcoming her. 

We have all been there.  We all go there regularly.  That place where we are filling our minds with negative labels of ourselves.  It is dark and sad and lonely, so we go to Facebook, Target, texting or some other means to find a way out of this feeling.  But God says "abide in my love". Why do we make it so hard? He wants to wrap us up in His never-ending, unconditional, warm LOVE. 

Another great point in this book, the author also talks about the flip side, the moments where we are celebrating our "awesome mom-ness", as she calls it. Those moments where we are sure our kids are feeling loved and secure all based on what a good job we did that day as a mom.  Even in those moments we are self-labeling and need to stop and "abide in His love". 

BUT THAT'S HARD! We need to swallow that pride and admit the source of all things beautiful about us... our Creator.

I know! Good stuff, huh?!?

THIS is where, when we know Christ as Savior we can rely on the Holy Spirit He has sent to reside in our hearts to prompt us.  Pray that He prompts you, to abide.  To grab the fuzzy socks and sweat pants of His love and abide.  When we do that.... we are filled up, refueled, comforted, sometimes BLOWN AWAY by His unwavering, unending, unchanging, unmovable love. We must embrace the labels HE wants to give us: 

forgiven, 

loved, 

righteous, 

holy, 

blameless, 

clean, 

acceptable, 

precious, 

daughter, 

perfect, (our heart in His eyes has been made perfect - not me as a person)

free. 

Embrace it.  Abide in it. Wear it like fuzzy socks and thick sweat pants on a FREEZING COLD day. 

Preach the gospel to yourself today.  "...your sin today cannot change what Christ did on the cross." (p32 of Christ in the Chaos by Kimm Crandall). 

From Kimm's 10 year old daughter:

GOD - the most awesome and cool being in the universe

LOVES - thinks you're the coolest thing on earth, even though it doesn't feel like it

YOU - an awesomely loved sinner

Don't Stop Accepting Yourself Part 2

Beth B writing:

We delivered my daughter by C-section. As a result, I have a beautiful love mark down the middle of my belly. When my daughter was very young, I was dressing in front of her and she excitedly remarked, "Mom has two butts! One in front and one in back!" I was horrified and she was awed! Even though I would prefer to not have two butts, it was the only way to ensure my daughter's safe birth. And I wouldn't trade my amazing daughter for anything!

My husband lost a lot of weight and has managed to keep it off for many years. His secret? Well besides diet and exercise, he confesses that the diets never worked until he fully accepted who he was. He has always had friends that could eat everything in sight and never gain a pound. And understandably, he wanted to be like them. But the poor man might have the slowest metabolism in the universe, so that dream will never be possible. Once he accepted that fact, he modified his lifestyle and has managed to maintain a healthy weight since.

Whether circumstances or birth has made you different from others, remember that it isn't better or less but just different. and it is this uniqueness that makes us interesting. To accept the flaws as well as the strengths will give you the greatest gift of all: contentedness!

..... bungie jumping.

Ok, ok, if you know me you know that I am not one to live recklessly... at all.  I am cautious, and I think things through.  Yes, I OVER-THINK things, ....thoroughly.  (Yes, I married a man who loves to live recklessly, I admire that about him... most of the time. Until he scares me. Then I tell him to stop it. *smile*)

But I wanna be reckless. In the spiritual sense. I do.  Why?  I don't want to miss out on any opportunity He places before me.  I don't want to waste time worrying what others think of me.  I want to just jump.  NOT literally, no, I will never drive on ice or jump out of a plane or bungie jump. But I want to jump if He leads. I know there is a time to be cautious, but my tendency is to smother things with caution.

Balance. Sounds like I need to find balance, huh?

Jesus did nothing without His Father's leading. He was cautious in that sense.  But he also knew when to jump.  I want that discernment. I am learning that if I am listening to Him, I will not "miss" His plan for me.

A book I am reading pointed out that the Bible praises child-like faith, and that if it is faith based on common sense in the Bible and it's teachings.... it's not really even reckless. It's smart.

Not sure how we got from "bungie jumping" to "smart". I guess it goes back to fear.  There is healthy fear and there is fear that paralyzes you. I saw this one on Pinterest, "Be you, bravely."  I like that!

I have been praying that God would give me courage, and He is giving me the desire to jump.  I have feared failure, the judgment of others and feared making mistakes.  Now I need to be willing to risk all three, willing to sacrifice, if need be. 

So I leave you with this: