changing who you are. (BethP)

We hear frequently, "just be you", "don't let other people's opinions or words change you", "be amazing", etc.  And many of those sentiments are good.

What I am thinking about, is positive change.  God inspired change. The changes we love as He works deep in our souls.  The changes that make us more of Him and less of us. LESS of me! I think as much as I hate labels I still tend to cling to my favorites.

"I'm an introvert."

"I don't like speaking up!"

I often cling to things I think are part of my personality when He is trying to USE me for His plan. And sometimes that requires changing who I am. What parts of your personality to you cling to?

Sometimes it requires stepping out. Letting go of your own labels.

Sometimes it requires sacrificing who I want to be seen as, to be who He wants to be seen as in me.

He wants to transform me.

He is more interested in who I am becoming than in what I am doing.

While I am thinking about my circumstances, He is thinking about my transformation.

(Maybe my circumstances are there for the very purpose of my need for transformation and change.)

Yes, he made me unique and special and He wants me to "just be me", but may I never use that as an excuse not to change who I am, for Him.

What does He say to be?

Changing the Toilet Paper Roll (Beth B)

I have some pet peeves; finding the empty milk carton in the fridge or sitting down to the toilet paper roll with only the last single sheet still attached. If any of you live with others, you know what I'm talking about! Normally when these things happen, I say some unkind things under my breath and then deal with the inconvenience. In a strange way, I can feel validated as "the only one who does anything around here". I can even relate these tales to my female friends and then we can all commiserate about our awesomeness. Without us, "nothing would ever get done!"
The problem (I've discovered) with this mindset is that it is a complete and dangerous falsehood. No one wants to admit it, but our loved ones would survive without us. I'm not saying that they wouldn't miss us nor that their lives would be different if we weren't there. They would, however, be able to survive.  Instead our griping has a different effect; we are degrading our families while boosting our egos. If we are honest, there are probably a list of things that "wouldn't get done" if our spouses didn't do them. In my family, that would be reconciling the checkbook. If I stop and think about it, missing receipts are as annoying to Ken as the empty toilet paper roll is to me.
So I am choosing to look at inconveniences, like the empty milk carton, with a joy, knowing that someone still needs me.

vacationing. (Beth B)

We just got back from a quick trip out east. We got to hang out with family, eat a lot of good things and see many interesting sites. These things are great but the best was spending time just relaxing! I find that I don't relax very often. I am always busy "accomplishing" some task. The funny thing is that the busier I am, the less I get done. Taking some downtime to rejuvenate my body and soul makes me more productive. Maybe it's just the process of decluttering my mind or getting enough sleep, but whatever it is, vacations are necessary for me. So whether it is a "Stay-cation" or a camping trip or a global vacation, go and enjoy! You deserve a rest! Don't forget to send pictures! We love to see the smiling faces!

handing over your guilt. (Beth P)

(My thoughts after Week 4 Day 2 - Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer)

How many of you instantly start feeling guilty when I talk about Jesus Christ, God’s Word, Christian ideas?

We all have things in our lives that bring us guilt.  But did you know that the only guilt that comes from God, comes from God’s desire to offer grace to cover that thing for which we feel so ashamed? He’s not here to throw stones. He’s here to offer hope, and love.  Now, KNOW that  He will call you on it; He will not let wrong things go unchecked, BUT His purpose is restoration and grace. Hand it over.  Hand over the guilt and let Him do with it what we cannot, remove it. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 

~1st Corinthians 13:4-5

THAT is the nature of our loving God. He wants to offer a solution for our guilt. He offers healing, cleansing, and rescue from all that hangs over us.

So don't cringe at the mention of Jesus Christ.  Hand over your guilt.  Seek Him. He will love you to the end of the earth! 

tapping into the Power! (Beth P)

WANNA KNOW SOMETHING AMAZING!?!?

When we make the choice to believe in Jesus Christ as our only means of Salvation from sin and hell, God sends the Holy Spirit to reside in our hearts. 

Do you realize what that means?!?!

We have access to the very thoughts of God Almighty in our lives!

1 Cor. 2:10-12

“The Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him?…. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”

Did you just read that?

re- read it. 

Let's TAP into that Power y'all! 

He is waiting to give us that guidance!

That is just amazing. 

We have the Holy Spirit who is able to give us direct access to the thoughts of God as they pertain to our personal lives! Amazing.

I will confess here, I am really good at assuming I know where He is taking me and rushing ahead.  Today He has shown me rather than rush ahead I just need to respond with patience AND with preparation! I can prepare for his leading but not rush into it! He has a script I just need to follow it not FIND it!

(Another post inspired by Priscilla Shirer - Discerning the Voice of God - I am a little obsessed with her, and inspired!)

. . .Stop Looking for Offense (Beth Burrow)

Before y'all tell me that it is poor English to use a double negative, just know, I couldn't think of a better way to put it. So I ask for your grace:)

Now back to the topic at hand: Looking for offense. Have you ever unintentionally offended someone? I'm not talking about saying something unkind and getting caught!!! Instead, have you tried to help someone or even compliment them and they end up being offended? Normally, I run to apologize and explain myself. I gush over them. (Probably because I have a serious gushing problem!) Eventually it is all resolved and everything is back to normal.

Well, I think I need to stop it. I apologize way too much. If I forgot to tell you that I like your haircut, it doesn't mean a thing!! I may like it, I may dislike it, or most likely, I didn't even notice it. If that offends you, I feel sorry for you but I am not sorry. Too often, we are just waiting for a way to be "wronged" or "dissed" or "slandered", because we get a lot of attention for being a victim. We can run and tell everyone about it and they will either: Tell us how awesome we are or tell us how horrible that person is, for treating you poorly. Either outcome stokes our ego but what is it really costing your soul? I can tell you. . . it is an expensive price to pay for a meaningless rush. If you are really being mistreated, change your circumstances. If, however, you are looking for things to be mad about, stop it. Trying giving out grace, I know you will find that it will be returned to you abundantly!

hearing. (Beth P)

Hearing the voice of God….. wow, doesn't it seem hard? 

This study from Priscilla Shirer (that the woman at my church have been doing) has shown me it is actually the OPPOSITE! It is actually pretty simple if we listen.  BUT we seem to try and make it so hard. 

Here are some thoughts from the study…

1. We can't depend on circumstance to determine what God is doing. 

2. Just because we feel comfortable doing something doesn't make it right.

3. God will never lead us to do something contrary to His Word, so know His Word and use it as a filter for discerning His voice versus our own thoughts or conscience. 

4. “You may feel ill-equipped to handle many things God calls you to do, but when you sense His peace His is encouraging you to step out in obedience. When you obey, you will experience His supernatural power operating through you to do it.” - Priscilla Shirer

5. “You may not feel confident in your own ability but you can grow in confidence in His.” - Priscilla Shirer

6. "It is God's responsibility to cause you to hear and to recognize His voice." - Priscilla Shirer

Don't believe her?  Read Proverbs 3:5-6. Or read Philippians 3:15, it's there too! Oh, and in Philippians 2:13 and Psalm 37:4.  

Are you seeking Him right now in your life? 

That is how you hear His voice, seeking to know Him. 

Leaving Junior High (Beth B)

Do you remember junior high? I do. (And I praise the Lord that I don't have any junior high pictures that Beth P can get her hands on and put on this post!!)  My experience wasn't as bad as some. I have heard complete horror stories from some "survivors" of junior high. Even though my experience wasn't that rough, I still would never want to go back to those days. In fact, I have never met a person who would like to return. It was a time of overwhelming peer pressure. We wanted to act in such a way that we would get noticed and be invisible at the same time. Fashion, phrases, and possessions became measures of popularity. Relationships determined your entire worth. Cool girls had boyfriends (meaning you sat next to a guy at lunch or you passed them those silly notes!). The whole culture in junior high was based on peer approval. No wonder, we never want to return. The criteria for "Coolness" is ever-changing and never satisfied. It is emotionally exhausting.

So, I ask you: what is the difference between junior high and our fear of what others will think of us? I know that sounds harsh but I see so many of us almost crippled with concern over other people's opinions. We catch ourselves apologizing for acting in ways that may make people think we are not nice enough or generous enough, etc. etc.etc. We will never ever make everyone like us. Their standards are too demanding and not worth the personal sacrifices. Instead of chasing after popular approval, why don't we chase after the things that please God? His yoke is easy and He will never reject you. Pursuing God's way will probably cost you the "Cool" status but it will bring you so much more joy. It's time that we all graduated from junior high.

knowing Him. (Beth P)

“Often we seek to know God’s direction more than we seek to know God. We bypass the relationship because we would rather have answers about us. God wants to speak to you because He wants you to know Him; knowing His direction is just a by-product.” ~ Priscilla Shirer “Discerning the Voice of God” study book. 

God is more interested in us know Him than anything else. Sure, it matters where we go for Him but it is not as important as knowing Him and  experiencing Him. 

God cares more about my relationship with Him than how good a mother I am.

God cares more about my relationship with Him than about what service I do for Him.

God cares more about my relationship with Him than about where I work.

God cares more about teaching me about Himself than about rescuing me from my circumstances. 

God cares more about what I am learning about Him than about how well I perform the tasks He places in front of me. 

God wants me to EXPERIENCE Him, 

not just believe in Him or hear about Him. 

He wants me to KNOW Him. 

My thoughts from Week 4 Day 1 Bible Study from 

Priscilla Shirer - Discovering the Voice of God.

Counting Your Blessings ( Beth B)

Ken surprised me by suggesting we spend our Memorial Day visiting my Grandma Phyllis! (That man is such a keeper!) It has been a little over a month since my grandfather died. My grandparents would have been married 71 years this June. Grandma Phyllis got married two weeks after graduating from high school. So she is struggling to deal with a reality that she has never experienced before, i.e. loneliness. Although she is surrounded by people, she really feels the absence of her beloved husband. I expected our visit to be a time where I could bring Grandma comfort. As always, though, it was my Grandma Phyllis that brought me joy.

She continuously lists off her blessings. Not just to herself, but she readily shares the good things in her life with whomever will listen. As family, we are introduced to everyone in the retirement home, as she excitedly brags on us. Listening to her recall 89 years of blessings, you'd think that my Grandma Phyllis had a perfect life. Far from it, some of the things she endured would make grown men cry. My Grandmother however, refuses to complain. She really has no time for complainers (or tobacco or war). In fact she has given up watching the news, because she "can't understand how people could treat each other so horribly".

When my brother-in-law met my Grandma, he said, "The world sure would be better if there were more like Phyllis in it." He couldn't be more correct. I believe it is because she chooses the positive every time. Always quick to compliment and encourage, Grandma makes everyone feel good. It is this attitude that is lacking in our world. We are commanded to give thanks in everything. By her positivism, this is what Grandma has chosen to do and we all could learn from that example.

listening (and shutting your little mouth) (Beth P)

We started a great Bible study for women at church on the Holy Spirit.  I am learning so much and finding great concepts to apply to my life. It is called "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla Shirer.

This week I have been hit with the fact that we don't have to struggle to find God's will for us.  It is His job to reveal His will, it is our job to be listening and to obey.  I am a bit of a worrier at times.  I feel the need to control things at times, especially when it comes to planning and decision making.  But the Bible tells us in Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know....". (He has been leading me to that verse over and over for MONTHS and MONTHS now.  *smile*

BE STILL! Sounds so refreshing and comforting.  But the control freak in me wants to do more than that! (Just keepin' it real, y'all!) I try to "help" God along in His plan, or what I THINK is His plan,  last time I did that..... He used a story in a book I was reading about a little bird needing to SHUT his little mouth, to tell me to SHUT MY LITTLE MOUTH! And I knew I was guilty of saying something to try and push His will into my time frame!

NOW I am working hard to be still, listen and SHUT MY LITTLE MOUTH.  

Quitting (Beth B)

Is it me or is May insanely busy? I truly believe that at some point during this month, I will bump into myself. It feels like we are running in circles. Usually this stresses me out but not this year. I am quitting. I quit the things in my life that were not worth the stress. And so for the first time, this running around is really quite enjoyable.
I am constantly running into people who tell me that they wish they could quit. I really can't tell them anything but "Well, do it then." Take a cold hard look at your finances, your lifestyle and your schedule. See what things you could reasonably give up and then, if possible, quit.
I'm not just talking about jobs here either. Quit teaching Sunday School if it is a spiritual and emotional drain. Quit planting a garden, going to exercise class, unhealthy relationships, pleasing everyone, etc. etc. Some of these things can be great, but if you are doing things out of a fake obligation, then stop doing them.
Perhaps, the hardest thing to accept, is that someone else might take over for you and do a much better job. Instead of being threatened by that, you need to realize this fact meant that you were indeed supposed to quit.
The plus side is that you are then freed to give fully to the things and people that matter the most to you! It is an indescribable freedom. 

explaining your reason for hope. (Beth P)

How do you explain to someone what it is like to "walk with Jesus" everyday? How do you communicate the passion He brings to your heart and overwhelming sense of assurance He gives? How do you tell the people you love what they are missing when they don't know that they are missing something critical?
I have friends who think it is great I have this "relationship with Jesus" but don't think they need that for themselves.

Why can't I just leave it at that?

Love, that's why.
Two kinds.
When I look at that cross and what Jesus did for me. How He loved me.  I want to love Him back.  And He even tells me how to do that.
By loving you. Loving you enough to tell you that He wants you. He still wants you. 100%.  He wants you to have the same passionate, intimate relationship with Him that I have.  He wants to walk through life with you, He wants to use you.  He wants to know you.
You don't know what you are missing. And I love you too much not to bug you about it. *wink*

Most of all, He wants to save you. We all need Him to save us.  Unless you are perfect, (am I am NOT) you don't deserve heaven with Him.  So Jesus came and paid for your lack of perfection by being the sacrifice FOR YOU! He made those who believe in Him, perfectly clean before God.  Not perfect, but perfectly pure before God.  He made it right, for someone so wrong to be forever in His presence.
When you stand before God one day, and you will, there is only one reason He can let your imperfect self into His glory.... not because you are a really nice person, not because of the people you helped and loved..... He sets the bar high..... He has to because He is God....but He has not left you without a means to reach that bar... He made a way for ANYONE to stand before Him pure.  And it is simple and pure. It is by faith in what Jesus Christ did. AND ONLY in what Jesus Christ did. That is the ONLY reason I will spend eternity with God, because Jesus paid the ticket price for me.  There was never enough good things I could do to buy that ticket.

Sure you can trust in Him to save you and then go about life living how you want. Lots of people do.  Lots of people are just comfortable with trusting Him with only THAT.

But why would you?  If you REALLY believe that God Almighty sent Jesus the Son of God to earth as a baby and ultimately to the cross to be a sacrifice for all the sin you ever committed, don't you want the REST of what He has for you? There's more! And it's incredible! There's a life time of amazing things He is waiting to do in you and through you, that just won't happen without a close relationship with Him.

Don't really believe me?

Ask Him,  I dare you to ask Him!!!

Ask Him to show you TRUTH.

All I can do is tell you over and over that the passion and joy he brings to life is beyond your wildest dreams.  Don't miss out.  Here or in eternity.  There IS a HELL.  It is real.  And life is so very short. You may have gotten sidetracked by the cruelty of things that happen in this world, but it is not too late.

He is forgiving and loving and waiting.

Being Awed (Beth B)

Did you know that there are 100 billion neurons in our brains? Or that there are between 1 sextillion (21 zeros) and 1 septillion (24 zeros) stars. Crazier than that is the number of atoms in a grain of sand, i.e. approximately 2.2 x 10¹⁹ atoms - 22,000,000,000,000,000,000!   Our heart beats an average of 35 million times per year. These are numbers that we can not really fathom. From massive areas to the smallest materials, the universe is awesome.

I've been subbing in a lot of elementary classrooms lately. The thing that energizes me about young kids is that they are completely amazed by things in this world. Not only do their jaws drop, but they can't wait to tell everyone about the things that they just witnessed or learned. It is contagious. The things that happen around us every day are straight up miraculous.

Lately, I've heard several people bemoan the fact that they haven't seen a miracle. On the contrary, I think everyday we see so many miracles, that we take them for granted. Given, if we stopped in wonderment at everything, we would never get anything else done. But what ever happened to our sense of awe? Perhaps stopping to be astonished by God's handiwork, is what Christ meant when he told us to have faith like a child? If we stop to contemplate the everyday miracles, we can't help but be reminded of how incredible our God really is!

setting boundaries. (Beth P)

Ok, so Beth B's husband Ken said months and months ago that I should read the book "Boundaries:When to Say Yes How to Say No" by Henry Cloud.

  I downloaded it.


And then gave myself permission to read it "later".  Well, I am reading it now (many, many months later).

Wish I had read it months ago! lol!

This is gonna sound corny, but y'all, EVERYONE could benefit from reading this book.  (Unless you are a single hermit living in the mountains with a bear named Ben,  then you could skip it.)

I am a "yes" girl, a "people pleaser" a girl who often grabs onto other peoples problems and runs with them, tries to fix them, or at least ease the load, or pressure or whatever my little heart can do. That sounds really "sweet" doesn't it!

HA! It's not.  For so many reasons!

I often don't set good boundaries, at home, at work, and even at church. I often say yes to the wrong things and no to the wrong things! And miss focus on the things I should be doing first.

I have 18 pages of notes from the book, y'all, and I am not even done.  Where do I start?!?!

Here is the first quote that hit me:

"Part of taking responsibility, or ownership is knowing what is our job, and what isn't..... she ends up taking on problems God never intended her to take on...."

DANG! I do that! And what a weight was lifted when I realized that I do that! Then I realized I might be missing other important responsibilities when I am busy taking on ones that are not mine to take on! I want what HE wants for me not all the stuff I latch onto! This problem stems from not having proper boundaries!

Ok, so maybe you cannot relate to that.

Try this:

"...don't be afraid to confront my critical internal conscience that is sometimes too harsh..."

Come on, tell me I am not the only one with an overly critical internal conscience?!?!

Ok, here is another random quote:

"Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only the consequences (of his irresponsibility) are."

Yep!

Sometimes, "....It is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin, for you will only have to do it again. You have reinforced the pattern." Proverbs 19:19.

I could go on an on with quotes and principles about boundaries.  Want me to? Want more or do you just wanna read the book!?

He goes on to confront myths that surround setting up boundaries.  Then talks about the war over boundaries, and also gets into resistance when new boundaries are set.  Really good stuff, cause he relates this to every relationship - spouses, parents, children, friends, co-workers, church family, etc.

I think y'all get that I love this book.  Just saw that there is a workbook!!! AND a series that dig deeper into the specific relationships. Man, I need a firm grip on boundaries!

How about y'all?

Tell me about a boundary you have set OR NEED TO SET!

Forming Your Legacy (Beth B)

His name was Albert. He was brimming with love for his wife, even after 71 years together. Each spring, he would clear the forest in front of their home so that Phyllis, his wife, could see the river from her front yard. Every year, Albert would watch his beloved Twins, complain that they were "no good" and yet he never missed an inning. Even at 92, he went deer hunting. Since there's no point to living, if you have to miss a hunting season. His favorite saying to his children was "well, you aren't the best but you are better than the rest." Secretly, they knew that he burst with pride over his children, but he never wanted them to get a big head. He and his wife always had a huge garden and plenty of fish and meat on hand because, "You never know when someone might need a little extra hand".
Albert was also set in his ways. Men should have good haircuts and be clean-shaven, otherwise they are just being lazy. Meat should never be tough. Foods should never look as though "Its already been eaten once". Men take care of their families, no matter what. You do what is right, regardless of what others say about you. And you serve your community. Albert took care of the sick and the aged, calling on them daily. He advocated for conservation practices, although he steadfastly refused to talk politics with anyone. He would cuss at the dog and feed it table scraps. Often he would secretly slip money into the hands of his grand kids. Lastly, Albert never complained about things that were outside of his control. He was a content man.
Albert is my grandfather. He passed away last week. He took part of my heart with him to heaven but he left me with so much more. My grandfather's legacy amazes me. He and my grandmother always stressed family. You love, support and accept the kin that God gave you. To them parenting meant that you accept your children and train them to choose what is right. Never settle for being your child's friend when you can be their parent. As I sat at his funeral, I witnessed Albert's beautiful legacy. We are a rag tag group of very different people. Yet, we are there through thick and thin for one another. This is a result that I am certain made Albert smile.
It has also caused me to ponder, what sort of legacy will I leave? What will my loved ones say about me in my eulogy? As I pause to remember my grandfather, I think it would be fitting to make sure that I am caring on his legacy. It is a worthy one.

living young. (Beth P)

I turned 43 today!

So far I like being 43! lol!

To be honest it feels the same as 42 so far.  *wink*

I am thrilled to still be on this earth at 43!

What a gift!

How about I make a list (43 would be too long) of 10 things you may not know about me at 43?!

1. I ate fudge for my snack this morning.  It rocked.

2. I love sleep.  I need sleep.  I now nap on a regular basis. And I am learning to not feel guilty about it.

3. I gave up sugar and white flour and it wasn't even that hard, thanks to (THM). And I don't mind having a birthday without sugar!

4. I am finally letting go of the fear of what others think of me..... wish I could say I learned it sooner, but better late than never.

5. I have committed to being more vocal.  More courageous with my words.  I have a lot to say that y'all don't even know!!!! *smile*

6. I am so excited about what God is doing in my life lately! Oh! And in my church family.  It is pretty cool, no, it is amazing. Ask me about it! I would love to chat with you!

7. I am learning how HUGE, I mean REALLY H.U.G.E. God really is. It is life changing.

8.  I often struggling with the aches and pains of an aging body, but I feel 33, yea, and I forget that I am 43 and it is probably a good thing I forget. I forget a lot of stuff. *wink*

9. I DO know I am not at all the same person I was at 41. THAT, I do know. And it is all because He is changing me in wonderful and fun ways! Sometimes painful, but mostly fun.

10. I wanna live like there won't be a 44 for me, and act like I am 33.

I watched this video last night (back when I was 43), both women are just precious. While I am often fearful and more like An in the video sometimes, I want the joy of the Ria at 78, don't you!?!?!

You will smile and laugh through this whole video! ENJOY!

Saying Yes (Beth B)

No, I have not completely lost my mind. (Yet, at least!) Last time, I encouraged you to say no and today I am encouraging you to say yes?! I believe that you have to learn to say no, before you can really say yes. The purpose of saying no is to prioritize your life. Hopefully this act will help you carefully choose where and when you should volunteer. And you should volunteer, the world needs you.
It seems like Americans are in a bizarre competition to see who can be the busiest. We cram our lives full of activities and exhaust ourselves. We should, to quote Bob Newhart, "Just stop it." However, I have also noticed that we are also not as busy as we think! The average American watches 34 hours of television per week. That is almost a full time job. If we took one hour of that 136 hours of television viewing per month and volunteered, can you imagine what we could get accomplished?
Currently only 26% of Americans volunteer. If we could even bump that up to 50 percent, that would be millions of increased hours. There are thousands of volunteer opportunities too! Could you give blood, rock babies, give someone a ride, or do a craft with an elderly person? Maybe you would be willing to walk dogs or bake some cookies? What an amazing life lesson for your kids, if your family went and pulled weeds at the community garden, served at a community wide free meal or sorted donations at the food bank! I guarantee that it is a much more rewarding experience than watching a bunch of fake reality television shows! So go and celebrate National Volunteer month by finding a way to give meaningfully of yourself.

Saying No (Beth B)

Have you ever been in charge of some big project? One where you had to get volunteer help and a lot of people were counting on you? Well I have and I learned many great life lessons from the experiences. Far and above the most important thing that I learned, was the importance of saying no.  Most of you have heard about this from the volunteers' perspective. It is very true that you need to put up boundaries to protect your emotional and spiritual health (as well as your family's). If you are saying yes just to please people, you will fail at the task. It is never a good idea, and you will end up disappointing more people than you are able to please.
Today, though, I want to speak to you from the organizer's perspective. There is nothing worse than having someone say yes and then fail to follow through. I have so much more respect for the person who honestly admits that they do not have the time, effort or motivation to assist in the project. There is no shame in that honesty. On the flip side, there are those who say yes and then leave people with a mess to clean up. Either the volunteer was stretched too thin, uncommitted or ill-equipped and as a result the work doesn't get done. This leaves the organizer scrambling and, quite frankly. frustrated. It is so much better to be able to find someone up for the task way before the event, than playing catch up days or hours before deadlines.
So next time you are faced with a volunteer opportunity, pause and consider your answer carefully. Remember to let your yes, be yes, and your no, be no. Everyone will be appreciative of your truthfulness.

embracing the men in your life. (BethP)

(These are from a couple years ago.)

Oh the men in my life! They ARE men.  Yet so young at heart! All three of them! In case I disappointed you with the tease about what it is like to be married to Daniel in another post, I thought I would share more about life with Daniel and my boys in this post.
I am not sure which desire is greater in men, the desire to win, the desire to compete, or the desire to experience and experiment!
You might live at the Paulsen house if you have:
1. bitten into raw ginger just to see what it is like.... fyi.... it is SPICY HOT!
2. found fully intact crawdads in the clothes dryer and assumed they were living when they started off in the pocket of someone's cargo pants in the washer.
3. ever asked if you could put a piece of pizza - among other things- in the Ninja blender.... just because.
4. done the cinnamon challenge MORE that once.
5. eaten raw jicama, and now desire to try raw rutabagas.
6. held your tongue in front of the air conditioning vent in the vehicle all the way home from Chapalla's Mexican Restaurant.
7. tried drinking carbonate milk.
8. you have mastered the art of camo painting trucks and trailers.
9. you get so dirty you have to nearly strip naked before entering the house.  (Yes, that is why all summer there are wet, muddy, sandy socks all over our front steps.)
10. found containers of live worms and grubs in the fridge next to things people EAT!
11. found containers of dead worms and grubs in the fridge next to things people EAT!
12. coined terms such as second breakfast, and second supper.
13. run through three feet of snow in only a pair of shorts.
14. come up with 100 reasons it is your brother's fault.
15. eat the insides of a snake cooked over a small fire in the bayou of Arkansas.
16. broken your nose more times than you can count.
17. have a ping pong table in your bedroom.
18. had massive marshmallow fights with up to 30 people in the house.
19. mooned University Avenue from high up in a cherry picker while working on parking lot lights.
20. slid off the barn into what you thought would be a very deep but soft pile of snow.

Those are just 20 glimpses into life at my house. I don't think it is asking too much for each of them to ALWAYS, ALWAYS kiss me goodnight.  IS IT?

(Again these are from a couple years ago, but they might be my favorites.)

Finding Your Haiti (Beth B)

Beth's most recent blog post inspired me. I have been fortunate enough to be able to travel to Haiti many times. I don't say this to bring me any glory, because, honestly, I go to feed my own soul. When I travel to Haiti I see sights that burn into my memory. Visions of living conditions and suffering that no human being should ever have to endure. This alone reminds me to be forever grateful for all the luxuries I have in my own life. It also helps to rid me of petty jealousies over the things that my neighbors own.
Although these are true blessings, it isn't the most important thing that I receive from Haiti. What I get from my visits is a clear and resounding message that God is still and always has been in control. I watch Haitians worshiping God with wild abandonment despite their surroundings. I am assured of  the hope of the future when I see the bright smiles of the children. I hear and witness miraculous stories. I am welcomed unconditionally by the locals. All of this, to me, is a foretaste of heaven and it is in a place most would consider hell on earth! But isn't that the way God has always worked!
Traveling to Haiti won't have the same effect on everyone. That isn't the intent of this post. I want to encourage you to find your own Haiti. Where is the place that reminds you of God's presence and love for His children? Run to it as often as you can. Fill your soul and remind your heart of your first love. If you haven't found  that spot yet, stop and ask God to be able to see. You will be surprised how many "Haitis" there are!
I have linked a video that does an excellent job in explaining why I go to Haiti. I hope you enjoy. The picture on this page is our dear Mackenson today!
Mackenson's Story

plucking people from their death. (Beth P)

I am reading an incredible new book by Tony Evans, The Power of God's Names.  (CLICK HERE FOR THE BOOK). It has made a profound impact on me and my relationship with Him.   Today I read a passage that is really leaving me with serious thoughts about what He has called me to do in this world.
It reads: There's a story told that in Nazi Germany , when the Jews were sent to the death camps, they often rode trains through the the countryside. These trains often passed by churches full of German Christians who continued worshipping even as they heard the Jews being carried off to their deaths.
Later, a German Christian was asked how he could worship and study God's Word when he heard these trains pass by.  He simply replied, "When we heard the trains, we simply sang louder." These individuals chose to ignore the evil in their culture. They chose to remain in the church building but outside the righteousness of God  (God's viewpoint as our central focus).

Are WE just singing louder?!!?? Our culture is carrying people off to their deaths.  Evil is raping and molesting children everywhere.  All around us and around the world. Drugs and alcohol are dragging people to their deaths.

What are we doing?

THIS is what our faith should look like..... this woman's faith. AnnMarie Richards. SHE is plucking people from their death. Literally, and I would guess, many are being plucked spiritually too.  *smile*



CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT SHE IS DOING!

This is Cadet.  He has been plucked by the Hands and Feet Project in Haiti.  

Laughing at Life (Beth B)

These made me laugh out loud! Maybe we all need to remember that a lot of the things that really get us upset aren't really that important (or are even kind of ridiculous)! We aren't in control and frankly that is wonderful! So let some things go so that you have room for the good things in life! Go ahead and get your laugh on!

..........praying. (Beth P)

Y'all my heart is heavy over the hurts I see happening to those around me.

So I whisper prayers. A lot. Out loud even. Sometimes while I drive.  Sometimes while I read.

Sometimes I feel like my prayers are just tiny wishes that float on the air until they disappear.

Sometimes it feels like they fall like a sinker into the muck of the riverbed.

HEY!

But praise God, our feelings don't determine the power of our prayers. All He asks is that I pray believing. And He asks that I come humbly before Him. He even tells us it takes only TINY TINY faith like a mustard seed. (Boy does He know my weakness.) And He hears.

He hears y'all!!!

He hears, He knows and he longs for that tiny wish I send to Him believing.  He longs to hear my say it whether in my heart or out loud from my lips. He LONGS for it! He doesn't mind if I am not on my knees, He understands if I am praying to Him on the inside while looking right at that friend.

Prayer matters.

Come on, ask me... ask me why the Almighty God of the Universe wants me to pray!!!

I know! He is in control so why does my prayer matter?!?!?

He chooses to LISTEN to MY prayers and let that be a catalyst in His will.

WOW!!! WOW!!!!

Doesn't that blow you away?

That's how much He loves and cherishes us! Amazing.

The answer is - relationship.

We have a God that didn't just create and set the world in motion hoping we don't screw it all up, He wants to move and work in every tiny or BIG situation we face.  He wants to build a bond with us, emotionally, spiritually and knit our souls with His!

Do you know what it is to have a relationship with Him?

Ask me!

Just ask me!

Message me on FACEBOOK! I can tell you more.  It's amazing. It's filling, it completes everything you are longing for in your soul.

I don't write for this blog to get more "likes" on Facebook;  I don't even do it to get you to like me. I do it because I want to build a relationship with more people that are longing for more of Him.

Come on, message me. *smile*

I promise I will pray for you...

if you want.

And He will hear.  

Cause He wants to hear, 

even though He already knows. 

 He WANTS to hear.

Being a Friend (Beth B)

I have an amazing daughter. And I have enjoyed an honest and loving relationship with her. One of the things that she did for me was she would let me know if I had a big old chin hair! Yes I said it, a chin hair. (Any of you over forty know exactly what I'm talking about.)

Well my daughter now lives a few hours away from me. So her ability to keep me out of embarrassing situations is severely limited. So I need to rely on my friends to tell me these potentially embarrassing awkward truths. There are very few people who are comfortable doing that. But I am so grateful for the friends that care enough about me to risk telling me hard truths.

We don't have to go around "correcting" people but if they have things in their lives that could really hurt them and their families, shouldn't we tell them? I think we get so needlessly worried that they will stop liking us or get angry with us that we just hope someone else will let them know that something is wrong. The sad thing is that if we all act that way no one will ever tell them the truth. So don't stop being that friend that will let their friends know that they have something stuck in their teeth or that their choices may be negatively affecting them. Ultimately they will be thankful that you cared.

Don't stop.....letting go. (Beth P)

Let's face it. In general, we women can be controlling. A lot. If you are like me, you also like to be "right" and like to "fix" things.

It feels good; it feels safe. And, well, we are good at it. *smile*

If there is one thing I have learned in my old age (almost 43), it is learning to just let things go.

Little did I know when I am married Daniel, that learning to let things go would be a huge key to a happy marriage.  He and I are not only from very different cultures we are complete opposites in sooooo many ways.

I saw this on pinterest the other day---Go look at it and come back:

CLICK HERE TO SEE IT ON PINTEREST

Such a simple image with such a DIFFICULT statement.  Let it go.

Learning to let things go has brought me so much peace and harmony in my marriage.

That Pinterest image is neat, the thought of letting a balloon just float away.

HARD to do, but so so freeing.

I am not Daniel's mother.  I do not need to correct him like a child.

I am not the Holy Spirit in his life either.

I must let things go that he does that I may not like or approve of at the time, or things I am annoyed by.

I must let things go.... and as the older saying goes, let go and let God.

GOD is so much better at fixing things that I am, why don't I just leave it to him.

The more I let go, the more I fall deeper and deeper in love with Daniel too.

HE is actually the one God has used to teach me how to let things go.  

I am blessed.

Seeing (Beth B)

Facebook is a colossal time suck for me. I can start looking at everyone's updates and before I know it a half hour has passed. Quite honestly most of what I see there is trivial. But this morning I ran across this link that a friend had shared. It reminded me that I talk way too much and notice way too little. So instead of writing today I will share these photos with you. Warning you will see some heart wrenching pictures of both joy and grieve so have a box of Kleenex with you. And take the time to really see what is important in life.

Click here! 

..... encouraging our little girls. (Beth P)

I think we all can agree this is a difficult culture for our little girls to grow up in and feel secure about how they look on the outside. And I know you cannot really separate that from who they are on the inside, but I don't think little girls understand that until they are older.
I want to tell you about how you can help them in a way that we often forget. We can start TELLING the little girls in our lives what we think about how they look.  I am not saying to gush over how pretty they are to the point that they think it is all that is valuable about them.  BUT I have to say, that we don't realize the impact our words as adult women can have on a little girl dealing with insecurity.
I still remember the exact moment and place that a woman I looked up to told me I was beautiful.  I was actually shocked. I was a chunky little sixth grade girl. She was my teacher. She cupped my cubby cheeks in her hands and said with all her heart, "you're beautiful!" It didn't matter that she was a very large woman, she had a heart to match her size and she was beautiful to me.

I did not feel pretty.  I didn't know I was beautiful.  I didn't hate myself,  I just didn't know I could be seen as beautiful.  (Yes, I knew that my mother saw me that way but it is different when it's your moma!)

Oprah tells a similar story of the moment someone, a teacher, I think, told her she was "pretty as a speckled pup".  It was a big moment in her young life. 

YOU can create a special moment in the life of a little girl who just doesn't know that she can be beautiful.  YOU can even go further and tell her that it comes from the inside out. You can cup her chubby cheeks and tell her that she is very very special and why.  She may skip away seemingly un-phased.  But know that she might remember that moment, the moment she found out she could be beautiful.  

Don't Stop Showing Respect (Beth B)

This saying made me giggle because it is too true. I am as guilty as the next woman of making fun of our men's shortcomings. Sometimes we joke out of frustration and sometimes it's just out of habit. However, neither reason is right. If my husband and his friends said some of these same jokes, we would be completely offended. As a mother of a son, I have heard male-bashing and I've thought that I would never want a daughter-in-law to say things like that about my son. So why do we allow it? Is it really our desire to always be right? And if so, I ask you is that worth sacrificing the dignity of our men? 

So today, I give you an assignment: Write down ten things about your husband/boyfriend/son that you really respect and/or admire. Give it to them in a way that they can read it privately. Then watch the results. If you discover something share it with us here. (Warning, please DO NOT share personal potentially embarrassing stories. Instead we are only looking for anecdotal evidence that we need to show more respect.)

.... going to church. (Beth P)

I know, I know, church can be a downer sometimes. It is not even a huge part of our culture anymore. We are a culture that wants to be entertained and just relax. PLUS, the church is full of people. *smile* These people are far from perfect.  People are going to disappoint you. Some sermons are gonna feel like eternity.

I have had a lifetime in church. My daddy was the preacher!

This is me (wearing yellow), my BFF, Susan (the little blondie), and two special boys (Tim and Stephen) like brothers to me, playing in the church nursery. (Sorry there was a tear in the photo that goes down my face, photoshop can only fix it so much. We are probably ages 3 and 2.)

I have been in church almost every Sunday of my 42 year life. And I cannot count the times I felt bored or I have been tempted to just stay home and not get out of bed. But God has repeatedly changed my life in beautiful ways through listening to His whispers to me in worship services in church.

And I am here to encourage you.  *smile*

Have you ever wondered if you are missing something? Why do some enjoy church and others don't?

Do you feel like you don't or won't fit in?

I promise this will be fun! And SHORT. ;)

Here are some thoughts:

1. Don't walk in thinking of yourself as Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Lutheran, or whatever. Think of yourself as a seeker of truth. The truth is found in God's Word. Seek to know what it says. Wearing a label or "Christian" t-shirt won't get you into heaven.  Truth.  Seek it. Find it.

2. Fellowship. When it comes to the people AT church, try to see them as God sees them.  (If you feel led to pray for this, watch out. It can change your life. You might even start hugging people at church.) You might even find some amazing friendships! You might find someone you can bless and be blessed in return. Isn't that something you long for in life?

3.  Why is it that sometimes the same people hear the same message and one person goes away challenged and or changed, another gets relatively nothing from the message.  Why? Is it just that the message was geared toward their needs? Maybe.  But it might also be that their hearts were open, they were seeking, they were listening, and were willing to change.

4. Discipline. We need to take on our spiritual life with some good old self-discipline.  I know that sounds grueling. But it is rewarding beyond your imagination! God will move in and inspire!

5. Food. Your sole longs for spiritual food.  And you will not find it at every church. Look for one where you and your family are fed. Look for one where you are challenged and able to grow.

Okay, now, was that so bad?

If this was too short..... here is a post titled "5 Ways To Be Unsatisfied with Your Church"-- great read: CLICK HERE.

Don't Stop Fighting For Your Marriage (Beth B)

As I write this, Ken is cooking Captain Crunch-coated french toast! I have a feeling it may be totally delicious. (Hopefully BP can find a recipe to include with this post!) I am lucky enough to be married to a man who cooks and cleans. He also does our books, repairs things around the house, provides most of our income and did a marvelous job raising our children. Because of this I have the utmost respect and appreciation for him but none of these wonderful things are the reason I love him. I love him, not the things he does.
I married a kind, loving, compassionate, wise, honest and funny man. And the best thing is that he gets me. We have a great time together. Having been married for so long, we have plenty of "inside jokes". It also means that he knows what I am feeling without having to explain it to him! In other words he is just "a keeper"!
Now that you are all vomiting from the sugary sweetness, I want to also confess that we DO NOT have the "perfect" marriage. There is no such thing. We have just chosen to prioritize our relationship. I can not tell you how that will look in your marriage. There are hundreds of thousands of blogs and articles from wiser people that can give you concrete advice. But I can offer this piece of advice from Ken: He told me that if he had to write a marriage book it would be a very short one. In fact all it would say is: Never, ever, ever give up because it is so worth it!

Maybe go make french toast together! CLICK HERE FOR THE RECIPE

......pursuing love. (Beth P)

Our human hearts ever long for love.  

To love and to be loved. 

Completely.  

Unconditionally.  

We want someone to know us deeply and love us anyway.  

We want to know we are special to someone.

Pursue love.  Don't quit. Don't become jaded or discouraged or lost.

Someone is waiting for you to love them and to love you back. 

(Now I am gonna turn this around a little.)

Jesus Christ is waiting for you too. 

Waiting to give you life, and love, and a deep intimacy with God beyond your wildest dreams.

I switched it on you, didn't I? 

Human love vs God's love. The thing is, He designed it this way.

The way we long to love and be loved by another person here on earth is a picture for us of the love we can have with Jesus Christ.  It is on purpose that He created us to long for human love and intimacy.  He wants us to learn to love and pursue a relationship and intimacy both with a spouse and with a Savior.

Then as we grow in that relationship with our spouse we can see parallels to how we can grow in our relationship with God.  Deeper and deeper and find completeness in Him, on a spiritual level.

No spouse, no problem.  You can still grow and learn from the love you find in friendships and mirror that with your Savior.

He has created over and over pictures of relationships all around us.  There is a trust and vulnerability I have with my best friends that teaches me how to trust and be vulnerable with God.

Just don't get so caught up or dependent on the human relationships that you fail to develop the spiritual relationship HE DESIGNED for you to have with Him from the moment you were conceived.

He has been pursuing you.  Have you noticed?  Have you responded?

He loves you.  Completely. Unconditionally.  Pursue Him. And don't stop.

.....stopping. (Beth P)

Believe it or not, there are actually quiet moments a lot at our house.  Seriously! I am not lying.  Sure, it may mean Russ has headphones in, Jedd is texting and Daniel is napping, but those activities do occur frequently at our house, AT the same time which equals quiet.  

While I do not like LOUD, and especially not loud and annoying (which happens a lot here too) I sometimes struggle with quiet.  I like a TV or radio on in the background.  I also struggle with slowing down. (I even eat fast. Moma was always trying to get me to slow down at supper.  It just wasn't lady-like to eat so fast.)  :) 

I the past year or so, I have been learning to embrace the quiet, the slow, and stillness. I am  stopping, turning off the TV(or at least hitting the mute button. Don't judge me) and being still. I stop and take a deep breath. Now what? (I hate to be bored. And I always feel like I should be doing something "productive".) 

Guess what? God would like a piece of that quiet with us. HE longs for it.

Have you ever read a verse for the Bible and then just sat back and thought about it, then suddenly you feel the Holy Spirit drawing you in? You read it again and it is one of those light-bulb moments? To be honest I can't say that I always give Him the time to even work like that. I don't often  STOP and just listen. Even when it is a time I have dedicated to a "moment with the Lord", I find I am often doing ALL the talking. 

Correy Russell, in the book Ancient Paths refers to it as "letting God fill our souls as well as our minds." He referred to the verse from the Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6

I wanna be filled. I want ALL He has to give. I NEED all He has to give. So I stop.  I take a deep breath and just try to listen. And I smile.  And be filled.

Just for a moment.  Be still.

Don't Stop Enjoying the Sweet Things in Life (Beth B)

Is there anything in this world more adorable than a baby laughing? Something about it just makes you do a full body smile. Well, last week I got to volunteer at Pizza Ranch. While I was there, a little nine month old boy got his first taste of ice cream! His face after the first bite expressed shocked ecstasy! After the first experience the rest of the dish provoked laughter, squeals, smiles and coos. He was in heaven. And his joy was completely contagious.
It wasn't until I got to participate in this celebration of deliciousness that I noticed that I had been dragging emotionally. Maybe it's all this cold weather that has me feeling blah or maybe it's just that I have forgotten about all the wonderful things around me. But taking the time to uninhibitedly  appreciate the little things, as children do, works wonders for my soul. So today I want to invite you to go be reckless in your appreciation for the joys in our lives. Eat that ice cream, dance to your favorite song, make a snow angel, snuggle with a loved one, call a friend and laugh until your sides hurt! Whatever you want to do, just do it with gusto!!!! My blog post is really short because I want you to just go and get that full body smile on! Don't worry what others will think or about the calories or even about the things that you need to get done! Just let yourself go and enjoy!

For some good baby laughs CLICK HERE!!! 

...laughing in love!!!

I had a list of what I wanted in a husband.  It changed from time to time but one thing that was always on it... "funny".  I prayed over that list for years. I was not about to take any chances. ;)

Little did I know even after I met that man, 20 years and one month ago, that I would spend the next 20 years laughing with him.  What  a gift my goofy husband is!

Y'all  know he's goofy:

I first met him on a blind date in Kansas City.  I was in my last year of college, and he was living and working in Cedar Falls, Iowa.  Yep, we met and dated long distance (5 1/2 hrs apart). But soon we both had no doubts we wanted to get married. 

Eleven months after we met, we married.  

I am still in love with him. He is still goofy.  He makes me laugh everyday. He is amazing. 

I am laughing in love. 

Don't Stop Embracing Limits Part 2

Maybe it's just the mom in me, but have any of you noticed, how many of the sports in the Winter Olympics could lead to the participant's death? I mean, seriously, how does one learn to ski jump or ski so fast that you are airborne for 100 meters? While it makes for entertaining viewing, I can't imagine being thrilled if my kids wanted to take up halfpipe snowboarding! I thought watching them play football was bad enough for my nerves but I can't imagine watching them wipeout so hard that they crack their helmet.

And the tricks just keep getting harder and more dangerous. We appear to have a need to constantly push the limits of what has been done before. And this isn't just happening in sports. For instance, when I was young my parents forbid me from watching Hawaii 5-O. They thought that the content and images were not appropriate for young eyes. Today they air reruns of the show in the afternoon and it is rated appropriate for all viewers! The young stars today compete to see who can be more shocking. The result is that in our pursuit for the newest thing, limits have become synonymous with archaism and closed mindedness. 

Yet any teacher will tell you that kids thrive within structured limits. Why? Because they can rest. There isn't the opportunity to meet every momentary desire. So they aren't faced with the consequences of these poor choices. Thus they don't have to strive and fight and they can achieve social and academic success. Adults are the same way. I have wasted so much money on whimsical purchases that I really didn't want. Because of this, I have had to work harder. If I had accepted the financial limits of my life we could have retired young. If we say no to ourselves then we have new opportunities and choices opened up to us. I will go into this in more detail in part three of this series. Until then I want to leave you with a thought-provoking quote from Wendell Berry about his discovery of the joy of limits.

“We had entered an era of limitlessness, or the illusion thereof, and this in itself is a sort of wonder. My grandfather lived a life of limits, both suffered and strictly observed, in a world of limits. I learned much of that world from him and others, and then I changed; I entered the world of labor-saving machines and of limitless cheap fossil fuel. It would take me years of reading, thought, and experience to learn again that in this world limits are not only inescapable but indispensable.” 
― Wendell Berry, Bringing it to the Table: Writings on Farming and Food